So what could be one of the worst movie tie-ins you can think of for a child’s toy? Something that’s not only inappropriate, but will also fly right over the kids’ heads, so to speak.

Old Yeller dog food… Actually, Disney already did that one.

Reservoir Dogs edition Elmo dolls?

How about Alfred Hitchock edition Barbie Dolls? The Birds specifically.

One really has to wonder which genius in marketing thought this one up.

Let’s face it, it’s not like young girls are going to get it… Or young boys if that’s their bag. And for those old enough to get it, Barbie has either lost her charm, or their those freaky avid collectors who really would much prefer a Norman/Mother Bates as they can get a sense of identification with the doll… Finally, they can be just like their idol, Barbie… A freakish man that dresses up as his own dead mother.

It makes me wonder what is going to come out of Mattel next.

The obvious one is Psycho. You could easily tie it all in with the Barbiebates Dream Motel, that Brad drives up to in the Barbie Dream Ford Custom, after having stolen several thousand dollars to impress his ex-wife, Marisa (Barbie never had a friend named Marion, according to Wikipedia). Then Ken comes out, and the fun starts from there… You could even change it to a more recent movie with the same characters if you prefer… Saw, for instance. You only need some drawing pins, and a small butane lighter.

Personally, I’d love to see an Eraserhead Transformers set. It could be an actual eraser… that transforms… into a head…

Hey, fuck you! It’s still funnier and better than anything Michael Bay came up with!

You might also like to read:

1. They’ll sell any crap to kids on Saturday morning!

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