Don't Play Reggae At Goth Clubs

When is a goth club not a goth club?

When it’s playing fucking Reggae!

I don’t really ask for much out of clubs. I’m not too picky on the decor. If the drinks suck, I can deal with it. If the DJ’s playing at ear shattering levels, I’ll just get some ear buds, or step outside where the perfect sound balance is reached… You know, so long as my friends are there and the music’s good.

Ahhh, the music. I’m not too picky about that either. I like the vast majority of stuff on the gawth playlists. Manson, Cure, Fortification 55, VNV Nation, Switchblade Symphony, Phillip Glass, Bob Marley, Kevorkian Death Cycle, KMF… Wait a second…

Bob Marley?

Bob Fucking Buffalo Soldier Marley?

Don’t get me wrong. Marley’s a musical genius and something of a hero. His music has a time and place… Neither of which happens to be in a room full of people that go in for harsh electronic sounds to sway to like bits of angsty seaweed, whilst clad in leather or vinyl, and figuring out precisely how many sexually gratuitous acts they can fit in before they have to go to their parents for lunch on Sunday.

Now, supposedly, this was all because it was “Revolutionaries” night. A great idea for a theme really. Cheap absinthe (the choice drink of the intellectual elite and beatniks), posters with clever slogans, lots of Fascist Chicks in Communist Chic. That kind of thing. Very hot, really. Skin tight Red Star outfits, and big fluffy Russian hats oFUCKING REGGAE! AT A GOTH CLUB!?!?!

It’s like stepping in bizarro land!

It wasn’t even like it was background level where you could pleasantly ignore it. Because no one was dancing (because it was fucking reggae) the DJ did what all goth DJs do when no one’s on the dance floor. They turn it up, thinking that will attract people to dance.

Noooo, no one’s dancing because your music selection is shitty. And when you turn up the volume, it’s shitty and literally painful to listen to.

I be thinkin I actually goin ta look at who be meant ta be DJing before I & I is makin da dessizun to be goin nex week, I-oh mon. Jah be witchoo.

P.S. Sorry about a lack of postage yesterday, but I was busy attempting to hall 5 desks up a flight of very narrow stairs. It took most of the evening. I’ll insert some pictures and links later when I’m less ranty and my boss isn’t about.

Spread the hate