So you’re out at a goth club, and then some punk biatch comes in and shoots up the joint. And not with heroin or ketamaine, like you’d expect to happen at any good goth club, but with his nines, yo! And not size no Demonia’s, but pistol!!! Coz he be from da East sayeeeeed, beeyotch!

And that’s why no one is safe from rampaging wiggas.

But what can we do to prevent being gunned down in Eminem inspired wannabe gangsta violence? Why, isn’t the solution obvious?! We should all wear bullet proof corsets!

My dear friend Twist, always on the look out for ways to combine her goth lifestyle with bar room brawling (she’s from QLD originally), has found the ultimate way to ensure her own safety, whilst allowing her maximum carnage when people decide to tell her that maybe she something she’d rather not hear.

I think what worries me the most is that there are going to be people wearing these when the zombie uprising happens, thinking that it’s good protective gear. Whilst it may protect you from something up to a .22 (I’m making an asusmption here. It doesn’t look very solid, and most women, particularly goth chicks, don’t get enough calcium for strong bones required not to have tactial armour just shatter your rib cage directly into your own organs) it still leaves plenty of flesh exposed. So whilst they think they can go around wielding the pump action 12 gauge, taking out zombies like they were strippers, they’ve actually left many prone zones on their bodies for zombies to bite and infect them.

Hell, a lucky shot from an above angle (as most goth chicks tend to be short too) or from behind would still get you a decent wound or kill if you’re a human still capable of holding a fire arm, like our example of a sad wigga in the first paragraph.

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2 Comments »

1. 

   Personally I prefer heavier plating with modular expansion slots, with a couple of pulse accelerator rifles mounted on the arms.
   Your friend Twist sounds awesome beyond words though

   Comment by Zero — September 15, 2009 @ 8:52 pm

2. [...] provides better armour and battery life than the American product, which could probably use a bullet proof corset underneath it. Whether this has something to do with the Japanese insistence that form be a part of [...]

   Pingback by Cyberpunk Pt4: Exosuits & combat mecha | The Goth Club — September 24, 2009 @ 3:09 pm

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