Which is to say that there are none there .

Well, not quite. I saw a set of goth parents,and their brightly coloured, Wiggles bedecked spawnling. Why is it that the children of goth couples are always so brightly coloured?

What there was in abundance were emo children. Everywhere. Emo and scenesters, and “rave cave” stands full of glowing and LED ridden crap at 400% markups and… and… and almost nothing to take advantage of these cashed up bubble heads except a rather well done horror train, which I didn’t even manage to get a ride on due to insanely large queues.

Why god, whyyyyyy!?!?

There was one potential stab at making a bag suitable for goth/emo kiddies though. The “Black Angel” bag. Cheapest possible synthetic satin gloves, black feather wings, a wrist band, and a black wig. All this for a paltry $20… or was it $25.

Whatever, it was overpriced considering that you could get all those things at a cheap asian discount store for about three quarters the price.

Which has made me realise that there are two market segments that are not being catered for at the Show:

1) Tamagothies and Emo children; and

2) Sexual health.

In terms of sexual health, it’s simple. There just should be something aimed at all levels.

Family bag so you can explain it to the preteens, something for teenagers loaded with condoms and pamphlets about “use them, or you’ll get electroghonorrea – it’s the noisy killer”, and then for the money maker, you sell single guys, single girls, and couples bags. A few appropriate toys, some lubes, a couple pamphlets on sexual health services and some of those “have you been drugged?!” drink coasters. Bam! State government initiative right there. They’ll be throwing money at you! Could probably even have a few GLBT bags for kicks… like the Hardcore Lesbians Bag: Flannel shirts and a rounders bat.

The goth bags, now there’s a guaranteed money maker.

Firstly, you’d need the appropriately themed stand, with a name like “The Gloom Room”.

All the bags would be easy enough to arrange. Just get black plastic bags for the cheaper ones, and some cheap black PVC courier satchels for the “expensive” ones. Maybe iron on patches so you can tell them apart when grabbing them from the back. Some My Chemical Romance stickers, a rubber spike wrist band and cheap button badges. Presto! Generic Emo bag ready to go. NIN Patch, rubber choker, and cheap white foundation and black lipstick. Zonino! Goth bag!

And the magic is that all of these things would be dirt cheap if bought in the quantities needed to make 2,000 bags.

Anyone feel like going halves in a business proposal for next year’s show?

You might also like to read:

1. Melbourne Sucks

3 Comments »

1. 

   Argh!!! I KNEW I was forgetting something next month! Bring on Blue Moon!

   Btw, those bags are totally a brilliant idea.

   Comment by Arriahne — September 28, 2009 @ 9:11 pm

2. 

   emo bag! AWESOME! i love horror and punk style… but… the safe sex bags and the lesbian bagsare a gross idea.NO THANKS!!!

   Comment by donna el emo! — July 7, 2010 @ 11:12 am

3. 

   Glad you like the primary idea, Donna.
   Who knows, knowing the goth, punk and emo scenes, we might as well just throw in the sexual health pamphlets, condoms and lubes to simply be practical…

   Comment by Egofreaky — July 7, 2010 @ 2:03 pm

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