Ok, ever since we watched “Episode 9000″ of South Park, we all know how fucked up Scientology is. I mean, if 4chan’s against something, it has to be bad, right?

Just in case you don’t know what Scientologists actually believe, there’s a run down in the following video:

So why should we care about this? I mean we all know they’re kookie, and this is hardly something unexpected, like Jews swinging live chickens around their head, or ruining the space/time continuum.

Well, it’s the exact content of the cartoon in this particular instance.

I have noted, from the imagery contained within, that Xenu is:

• a homosexual, or a metrosexual at the very least; Why else would he be so buff and have a pink battle helm (00:41 & 00:51 respectively)?
• likely to have worked for the United States Armed Forces at some point, as indicated by his more than willing stance on the use of hydrogen-atomic weapons (01:08);
• an enemy of, and has been raided by, The Avengers at least once (01:18);
• one of Superman’s arch-nemesii. Hence the floating diamond sub-space prison (01:20);
• insisting that all Scientologists be stuck in 80s fashions (01:30);
• making sure you will never have to ask someone to get you a cup of tea again (01:48).

Now, frankly, I’m beginning to think that Scientology looks rather cool from all this. I mean, I’d happily part with a few thousand dollars if it meant I was going to be happy and be able to shoot tea cups with my mind… But then again, Scientology also says that modern psychiatry is bullshit, which means I wouldn’t be able to get delightful little pills like Adderall.

Scientology = no drugs = stupid religion.

No cocktail today, but you still get a drink that you can make.

Kind of.

Remember how I had to make my own infused spirit for one of the halloween cocktails last month? Well, believe it or not, this is a pretty simple thing to do, and generally well worth the effort.

Why would you bother to infuse your own spirits when there are so many liqueuers available already? Well, for a start, you could potentially cut down on the horrible cheapness used to create a lot of the sweeter liqueurs out there. i.e. Baitz. The stuff is a cheap grape ethanol base, hence the very alcohol aftertaste when drinking it straight. You may also wish to create a more subtle blend of flavours i.e. Effen’s cherryvodka. It’s mostly vodka, but with a hint of cherry. Or, you could simply wantto create a combination that simply does not exist on the market because the long tail for it is slightly too long. Having made a rose and coffee vodka before, I can tell you it’s fantastic, but I really don’t see a  rush to LiquorLand happening for it anytime soon.

So this week, with Jaz having been disgusted that the only spiced rum on the market is Captain Morgan’s, we decided to make our own.

(more…)

Trey was laughing to himself. A gleeful laugh that verged on manic. It was shrill like that of a child squealing as its fleshy thighs are pinched hard by an unremitting elderly relative with their saccharine smiles and even sicklier sweetened breath, but at the same time it was dry like the wind scouring over old, dead trees that had fallen at the edge of a dessert as the forests slowly retreated and gave way to the scouring sands and blazing heat.

It was a self satisfied laugh.

Trey was reading the news online.

A casual observer would have noted that the story being read was not a human interest story about some delightfully large and retarded cross eyed kitten competition, nor indeed anything to do with cats and their woefully abhorrent grasp of things such as grammar or correct spelling and punctuation.

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“Too soon.”

The voice buzzed across an absolute blackness of the kind that physicists only theorise to exist. The kind of darkness that cannot truly exist in real space and so only exists in the minds of those filled with a gibbering terror at the nadir of the mental trough they find themselves in. The kind of darkness that becomes the totality of existence for a suicide.

“Nonsense,” came a reply sounding of slate dragged against gravel, mortification, and centuries of undisturbed decay “there are seven to be taken by seven in the seventh month. We have done it annually since His Lordship straddled Earth and brought disharmony among men.”

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