Ever had one of those nights when you’ve wanted some kind of fast food, but couldn’t really settle on which? You wanted them all, but couldn’t order them because it was an

exhorbitant amount of food, most of which would go to waste… and being a Monday almost nothing other than chain “restaurants” were open?

That was the agony I had last night, until I came up with a Frankenstein-ish idea so foul that the only thing missing from the scene of my insane laughter was appropriate weather patterns and a grotesque assistant with a hunch back and a drool problem.

My assistant, being the household pet, had no such hunch back. And was less than helpful in offering suggestions, or throwing switches. I guess it’s back to the drawing board when it comes to stitching grave stolen human hands to the stumps where his paws used to be… but such are the trivialities of advancing science *sigh*

I had resolved to go against god, nature, and that annoying bastard on Master Chef. I would

create a dish that satisfied the cravings for all of these things, and technically count as Fusion Cuisine.

I endeavored to create the Burger Pizza Burrito!

AHAHAAAAAA!!! -<insert lightning crash>-

So out comes the pizza base and sauce, cheese and topping. Obvious, right?

On goes the burger. Burger meat? No, a sliced up nut burger patty! Mmmm, greasier than John Travolta on a boat with L Ron Hubbard and several small boys. And some mayo… and tomato.

Last, add in some hot bean salsa and a little sour cream, then wrap it up like a burrito, putting something on it so it stays in shape for the 10- minutes you’re going to have it in the oven.

It comes out, it tastes delicious, it scalds your tongue terribly and then gives you the shits from all the oil and fat.

Bon apetite!

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