So a bunch of ignorant atheists, who don’t believe in his Noodley Appendage ever having touched their lives, were arguing about how religion works, using the analogy of “an invisible monkey in the drinking glass“. Never mind the fact that t his clearly breaks copyright on the Invisible Pink Unicorn, and all associated religious texts involving it.

Far be it from me to actually lower myself to this level of discussion, because we all know that the entirety of creation was made during the sneeze of a supreme deity that vaguely resembles a plate of Emporio’s finest angel hair pasta with bolognaise sauce (rAmen), it was brought to my attention by my good friend Twist, who then insisted that not only were these atheists and wrongtheists sublimely ignorant, they also had no idea how to mix a good drink with which to worship and commune with their deity.

Which is where I step in.

Glass: Margarita

Ingredients:

• Blended ice
• Dash of bitters
• 15ml Banana liqueuer
• 30ml Cachaça
• 30ml dark rum
• 150ml (apple,) Manga & Banana juice (Golden Circle make a fresh juice with all three, other brands skip the apple and have it as a very thick juice)

Method: Crush the ice. Frappè it if possible. Then build the rest over it. Bitters first, then banana liqueur, etc.

There are two schools of thought for when you get to pour the juice. Pouring it fast will mix it in, giving a blended flavour to the drink. More uniform, less offensive, ra ra ra. Or you can pour it in slowly around one side, and let the flavours not mix at all, giving you a drink that has layers and subtelty. Up to you.

Garnish: Monkeys like Bananas. More so if they are invisible, because the key to gaining photonic reflections is maintaining a high level of potassium in your diet. As such, a few horizontal slices of banana arranged in a nice wheel, or if the glass is large, an entire peeled banana. Also, a marchino cherry in the middle of the ice. Gods like marschino cherries.

You might also like to read:

1. A Treatise on Drinking
2. My invisible pink unicorn is better than your orbiting teapot

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website