A.K.A. Should I buy the banana or kiwi flavoured lube?

The contract with my previous employer was not renewed when new owners took over (who then decided two weeks later that they actually did still need me. But they weren’t willing to keep me on the pittance I was being paid before, so fuck them). So I’ve been looking around for my dream job, something in events management. I’m sure most of you are familiar with the job hunting process. It’s long, grueling, and disheartening… at the best of times.

You submit your resume, a bog standard cover letter that you’ve mail merged with the position title, place of employment and HR persons name, because if you had to make a unique one for every role you’d go insane. And then you see the same job advertised next week, even though they never even sent you a bog standard rejection letter by way of reply. Bastards.

So it was a breath of fresh air when I saw one role that was actually basing its decisions on the actual quality of applicants work. Whilst you had to submit a resume, that didn’t matter nearly so much as following the process by which you had to actually apply. For starters, you had to apply on a specific date. Not have applications in by, nor after… But that one day only.

That’s not the most interesting part though. What truly set this job out from the rest, and I’m certain weeded out a lot of the standard applicants that just shotgun blast their resumes out there was that you had to design an event for this event management company. And not any event. You couldn’t just rehash an old plan you may have had lying around. You had to create an entirely new event, with budgets, mood boards, layouts, pictures, etc., of how you would announce to other people in the events industry that you had just been hired by this company.

What a fantastic concept for selecting candidates for a job! Actually looking and seeing if they’re capable of producing the actual work that you’re hiring them to do. It staggers me that more places don’t do this, but simply look at a resume, and often don’t even look past the education details, let alone to what you’ve actually done in your career so far.

Not at all like what (IMHO) I now consider the worst employment agency in Australia, with a poor record of data retention, and rude HR people that will reject your resume in less than 2 minutes after sending it… Is that even enough time to open it let alone read it?!

Either way, it got me thinking that there are all these jobs out there that seem totally goth, but simply aren’t when you get into it… Other than fashion and cosmetics retail, what out there is really all that goth?

• Owning the Haunted Bookshop
• Being a professional psychic / ghost hunter
• Grave digger and/or Mortician
• Forensics
• Drug Dealer
• Model

In fact, looking up “goth job” on Google even returns modeling… and porno, which is kind of modeling anyway. Now let’s compare this to what about 95% of the goth community are employed in:

• IT (Software)
• IT (Systems Maintenance)
• IT (Engineering)
• McDonald’s
• IT (Consulting)
• Part time modeling and creative arts career (Read: The Dole)

So what’s a guy to do if he wants a job outside of these areas, has training and experience outside of them, and yet still can’t find work outside? Give in? Certainly looks like a reasonable option. This is the great year of You Have To Give Up.

Or strike out, and be the most bizarre, attention grabbing whore you can possibly be.

And that’s what I aimed for with my event proposal.

If people are wondering what event I proposed… I think you’ll like it: Read it here.

And if you’re wondering, Im happy to organise your next function

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3 Comments »

1. 

   I thought you would have known this: HR people don’t read every resume that comes through. Because just like writing a new cover letter for every application would drive you mad (although you really should do it, if you really want the gig), so would reading every resume. It’s also impossible to do; there just aren’t enough hours in the day, particularly when hundreds/thousands of applications are received, as would be the case with Hays.

   So they have a computer program that scans through the text of the resume, searches for key words, and if you don’t pass a certain threshold number of those keywords, you get rejected. That’s why it happens so quickly.

   So, as boring as it is, customise every cover letter, customise every resume even. Look at the description of the job that you’re applying for and pick out the key words and skills they’re asking for, then make sure it’s in your application. That’s how you get past the bot hurdle and actually make it to the HR rep’s desk.

   Comment by Magda — January 14, 2010 @ 10:18 pm

2. 

   I do do that. I put a copy of the job description in 0.1pt font size, in white, at the bottom of my resume.
   But the recruiter was also waiting on my resume as I’d spoken to her on the phone 10 minutes prior to submission, and had asked me to send it through.

   Comment by Egofreaky — January 14, 2010 @ 11:49 pm

3. 

   Good luck with the application.
   I hope you get the position and that it’s awesome.
   Hell knows you kickarse enough at event management, that you deserve the job.

   I was curious about the event you proposed, but Google’s giving me a page not available error.

   HaHA! re: the job description in 0.1pt white.
   Well at least it lets you know the ones that reject you immediately are actual fuckers rather than letting their bots be fuckers for them.
   Nice to know I suppose. ^^;

   Comment by caf — January 15, 2010 @ 3:21 am

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