I know I normally try to post something about Cyberpunk stuff on a Thursday, but Steampunk is kinda Cybperunk… or at least an offshoot of the literary vein.
So here we go!

Turns out that large scale airships, of the kind we’re always fantasizing about, may actually become a commercial reality within the forseeable future! Or at least they may according to recent chatter surrounding statements by a former chief scientific adviser to the British government, David King.

Now, rigid structure airships for passengers and freight kind of stopped being popular in the later part of the first half of the twentieth century thanks to the Hindenburg killing a few dozen people and exploding in a giant fireball. Filling it with hydrogen, and painting it in a substance that’s known to burn rapidly at temperatures roughly 10% of our sun’s surface may have had something to do with that. Or the way that the US wasted millions of dollars (when that was actually a lot of money) on trying to make flying aircraft carriers like the USS Macon and then staffing it with officers that figured the gas ballast would be similar to that in a submarine.

Those kinds of things tend to put people off a little. Kind of like Chernobyl and Three Mile Island poisoning the well, excusing the pun, of research and development of nuclear power.

Recently, as part of the global effort against man made greenhouse gas emissions, King (who I really need to point out is a professor and a knight of the realm… no, seriously!) suggested that perhaps all air travel that is not time critical be shifted to massive airship transport. This has naturally met with a lot of skepticism at a number of quarters.

One quarter is from the people that (rightfully) point out airships travel at about 100-120km per hour. If a train can get somewhere faster, these are going to be useless for domestic freight and passenger transport, and most people don’t want to spend 3-4 days aboard an aircraft to go overseas. These are all valid points, but totally strawman the point that this is meant to replace air transport for cargo, not passengers.

However, there are a certain breed of passengers that will pay for this, quite happily I might add, especially if it includes shopping and other fun, duty free activities. Of the dozen or so articles I’ve looked into regarding this, not a single one has considered the benefits of this idea from a tourism perspective.

Air cruises!

Airship tourism is growing fast… apparently. (Yeah, I really don’t believe that either…)

Never mind that you’ve instantly got the Steampunks and Retrofuturists that will want to get on board. There will be several every day types that are sick with the ocean going kind of cruise, having been on many before, and will want to try something new. Instead of scuba-diving off the back of the boat, there’d be para sailing or gliding. Bunjee jumping off the back. Rigid wing gliding to the destination point as the airship comes in to land! Amazingly fun times had by all, and provided the proper care is taken, people are no more likely to die from misadventure than they already do on cruise ships. Not to mention that due to the altitude, people won’t need to consume as much alcohol to have those same misadventures!

But considering that people are already using submarines for criminal purposes such as piracy and drug smuggling, I get the feeling it won’t be long until we actually see airpirates raiding these pleasure ships of the sky, like fat flying buffallo. Buffallo covered in ticks that happen to be obnoxiously rich! And no one likes obnoxiously rich parasites! Why, the fat cats riding these blimps that are only slightly larger than their own blimp like arses positively deserve the air piracy that is about to befall them! Air piracy brought to them courtesy of Robert DeNiro in a dress!

June 11, 2010 9:00 pm	to	June 12, 2010 5:00 am
June 18, 2010 9:00 pm	to	June 19, 2010 10:00 am
June 25, 2010 9:00 pm	to	June 26, 2010 5:00 am
July 2, 2010 9:00 pm	to	September 4, 2010 5:00 am
July 9, 2010 9:00 pm	to	July 10, 2010 5:00 am

DIRT, the club that caters to the younger crowd with their new fangled “hardcore” and “new-punk” and “nu-metal” and scat-boards, has finally found a new home and is meant to be getting a regular Friday slot. With Saturday nights getting rather over crowded, this now gives an opening to people that have their free time on a Friday night as their attempting to avoid sabbath dinner with family *cough* It also allows for a bit of club hopping between this, Silhouette for the more traditional music, and maybe even Cherry Bar if you feel like the cock rock.

Now situated at The Night Owl, 33 Elizabeth.st, Melbourne, DIRT is all about having a good time and not caring what others think. It’s been out in the cold for a bit, and SKOL doesn’t seem to be coming back yet (not that it was really a different club, but y’know) but at least this means there’s a few things on a Friday now.

A real review will be forth coming once I’ve actually checked out the new digs.

Entry is $12, or $10 with the flier.

Drink Specials (until 11pm):

• $2.50 for Carlton pots (but why would you do this to yourself?)
• $4.00 shots
• $5.00 basic spirits