I just had a look at the top 10 search terms that bring first time readers to this blog. I do this every once in a while to see what is actually of interest to my non-regular readers. Personally, I would have assumed it would have been things such as much awesome custom cocktails, or perhaps some of my articles on cyberpunk fiction that is already a clear and present reality (or imminently pending) and why that makes cyberpunk a genre that people are less inclined to read lately.

But no, it’s none of those things.

It’s mostly Jude Law’s dick.

The GothClub’s Top 10 Most Searched Terms for First Time Visitors!

These are literally in the order of popularity by the way, and except for the last two, each have over a thousand first time visitors that have found the site through these…Thanks Google! It’s nice to know what you think my site is all about and who it’s relevant to in the eyes of search engine users.

1. jude law
2. avatar navi
3. navi porn
4. fucked to death
5. navi avatar
6. world of whorecraft
7. avatar sex
8. poire william
9. avatar navi porn
10. falcon punch

Holy shit, folks! Whilst Jude Law’s technically on top for a post I made about our society becoming like the film Gattaca, the combined weight of all the ones about navis actually outweighs Jude’s swinging non-blue cock by nearly 3:1.

I make one parody post about the missing sex scene from Avatar and the actual social implications of getting into some alien bush instead of actually negotiating for mineral rights, and somehow this becomes the most important thing for you first timers! It actually kind of makes me totally unsurprised that World of Whorecraft is on there (even though it was a post about living our lives in virtual simulations), because you clearly can’t deal with real porno (so I’ve linked it permanently for you to make your lives easier), and you figure Falcon Punching a woman is the best way to deal with any potential unwanted complications that may arise from your inter-species erotic capers.

That a liquor made it on there at all genuinely surprises me…

*facepalm*

You might also like to read:

1. When S&M goes wrong
2. How people find this blog worries me
3. Fuck My Life
4. Peculiar People
5. Couldn’t Happen to Nicer People

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