Doesn't even have internal WiFi!

Let’s face it, the human body is not very well designed. It’s quite possibly one of the largest flaws in Creationism theory, because if we were made in the image of a perfect God, we’d certainly have limbs that are a lot more functional than the ones we have now. There are plenty of reasons why our bodies are actually poor design, from the wiring of our visual cortex, to the number of genetic abberations that can occur during reproductive process, to the general impracticality of our limbs.

Which is why it’s such a good thing that someone’s looking for ways to improve upon our design in both a functional, and aesthetically pleasing manner!

So many anime fans are thinking what you're thinking right now

Meet Kaylene Kau, creator of the prosthetic tentacle. Admittedly, these are only available to the people that have already lost an arm for whatever reason, and are designed to be both functional and cheaper than a more realistic human prosthetic arm – but why do people always insist on having back what they already had? Frankly, I would consider something like this an upgrade, similarly to the art pieces that people are designing for the richer amputees in a previously mentioned cyberpunk post. The fact of the matter is that a tentacle is actually, from an engineering perspective, a much better design than a plain arm. There are things you can do with a tentacle that arms are not that well purposes for, and I’m not just thinking of hentai here. How many times have you wished that a box were a slightly different shape so it wouldn’t dig into the soft fleshy bits of your arm? A tentacle bends around the box however is needed. The only truly impractical part of Kau’s design is that it’s merely one tentacle, instead of a whole flailing set… And it’s not exactly controlled by unconscious thought as easily as regular movement so much as having to use the little manipulator control box.

"Needs more lube" takes on a whole new meaning!

Still, one step at a time… Which is a lot more than a lot of amputees are managing.

However, some don’t want to step out. Stepping with feet is for us pathetic mortals that have the constraints of a nominally functioning human body. Some would rather swim. Like fish. That would like to be Fishmen, minus to the Innsmouth Look.

And this is something possible too.

A New Zealand woman that had lost both of her legs got WETA (You might know them as the people behind the special effects in a crappy movie called Lord of the Rings) to make her a mermaid prosthesis. She can now swim better than basically anyone outside of an Olympic team, and even better than some of those guys (except the Chinese “guys”). The downside is that men on fishing trawlers occasionally, totally by accident, haul her out and have their way with her after mistaking her for a dugong. After all, we all know dugongs have those muscles that… Oh, right, the mermaid lady!

Add in a few gas pressurised servos, and she could do some great cameos in a Bond movie.

Hell, add in some micro-rocket powered motors, and a few neural controls, and that tentacle could crush skulls with relative ease.

And this leads us to the questions I generally like to pose at the end of each of these Cyberpunk articles:

1. 

   "I had to crush my hands with a pound hammer clenched between my teeth, but now I can type at 893WPM!"

   Would you do someone with a tentacle?

2. No, really, think about it. Are you totally sure?
3. Ok, fine! Being serious: Can you honestly say you would be comfortable with transhumanists / post-humaniform people wandering about? Do you think you’d be ok with them in the workplace and/or social situations?
4. When there are limbs that are manifestly more suitable to certain work environments (see picture), is it unfair to prefernece the people with said limbs over able bodied people?
5. Is it ethical to remove the limbs of your children in order to give them advanced prosthesis that are actually better than what they’ve got?

You might also like to read:

1. More on currently available Cyberpunk
2. Cyberpunk pt20: An end to all fear
3. Cyberpunk Pt19: Erotelecommuting gives a whole new meaning to “Phone a Friend With Benefits”
4. Cyberpunk pt10: Accelerated Regenerative Tissue

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