"QUAAAAIIIIIID!!!!"

A friend recently showed me a post by an underage camwhore about boozing up gummies and making them the stuff of nightmares. And if you’ve been following my blog long enough you know that I don’t bother making a point unless I mean to take it so far past its logical extreme that it leaves you awake at night, hugging your knees and shaking back and forth, wishing you were this amusing.

And unlike most of my drink posts, this isn’t waiting until the next Friday because you need time to prepare these if you’er going to be dealing with family this “festive*” season.

Now this basic recipe was posted by a tumblr type person apparently. Jasmin Blu or some such. Who cares, she’s underage. Can’t drink with her, can’t put genitals on her, what’s the point?

The basic idea is you just take gummie bears and stick them in a bowl, then cover them over with a layer of booze that is about 2cm taller than the gummies sitting in the bowl, and you leave that shit in the fridge for literally a week.

My recipe alters things a little – You want Chicos, those little baby shaped gummies, and you want specifically butterscotch schnapps or Creme de Menthe, because those are liquors that go nicely with chocolate flavouring.

These have to be left in the fridge so that they don’t disintegrate, preferably with a lid on the thing. Eventually the candy soaks up booze to the point that you’re getting about .1 standard drink per ridiculous abortion nightmare you’re eating at the party… So if you can stomach 30 of these bastards without sobbing in the corner, then you’re still too sober to be enjoying yourself, but you can’t legally drive your car away while you question what you did with your life.

*I’d just like to point out my cynical use of quotation marks isn’t some sort of anti Christmas/Yule/Ramadan/Hannukah/Festivus stance, but a genuine dislike for this time of year based on a long running history of terrible shit happening to me in the 14 day period prior to Christmas for the last few years.
Don’t let my humbuggery get in the way of you having a good time… Just lie back and think of… ahhh… buggery…

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