But baby, I love you so much
As we’re all entirely aware from anecdotal evidence, teenagers become a lot more easily obsessed with stuff than regular, normal human beings. They begin to behave oddly. They collect things about the object of their obsession. Like photos, news clippings, memorabilia, bits of my hair, faked items on eBay in the hopes that they’re real.
Those kinds of things.
What you may not have been aware of was that these teenagers, usually girls that like my hair, are also substantially more likely to turn violent than their adult counterparts.
Frankly, I can see where this becomes totally awesome though.
As we all know, teenagers are impressionable, naive and easily manipulated. They also tend to hallucinate their own versions of reality which may or may not involve being raped in front of a live TV Studio audience*. So the upside comes in when you start directing their violent tendencies towards you into a more constructive pursuit, such as violent tendencies towards others.
Back, and to the left... Baaack, and to the left.
Go into business with a bevvy of martial artist, gun crazed, blood lusting, sexy teenagers for hire. You’ll have clients lining up. Just make sure you’re discreet about selling the girls out, because while the world loves sexy violence perpetrated by 15 year olds in skirts shorter than my briefs, apparently it’s not cool for those girls to actually be doing what 15 year olds have been doing naturally since time began.
If you’ve only got one stalker, this may not really be all that possible, unless they’re insanely good at the violence. But surely it can’t be all that hard to get multiple stalkers and slowly warp their minds. I have friends that seem to do it on nearly every interstate trip we take to one of the many and varied conventions we attend each year… And he wasn’t even goth until last year!
Admittedly, one of those stalkers did turn out to be a guy.
But this is the 21st century, so that kind of thing is ok now.
*Least tasteful product plug EVER! 
