The Goth Club

Racist pun in the title! Wooo! Afterall, this post is a review of a Japanese anime series about vampires (of the bajillions that already exist).

Japanese Cover - Spot the difference

American cover

Dance in the Vampire Bund is somewhere between a political intrigue thriller and high school romance, with a touch of excessive supra-martial arts action thrown in. Of course, as with all anime, there’s the standard lolicon / ephebophile content by having panty shots and cleavage galore from school girls in ludicrously (although not innacurately) short school dresses. DitVB takes this a step further by following along on the standard Poppy Z Brite mantra of it’s ok for them to actually be hyper sexed up twelve year olds… so long as they’ve been dead a few centuries before hand.

Give it three more weeks and the manga series will be out to capture the Twihard otaku market

Essentially, the narrative sees vampires coming out into the open in a way rather similar to that of True Blood. Crappy TV news show appearances.

From there the male lead, Akira Kaburagi, quickly finds his idealic highschool life and somewhat fuzzy memory of childhood (because amnesia is so amazingly common in Japanese teenagers) as the Vampire Queen, Mina Tepes (picture above) waltzes into his life to remind he that he’s been promised to her… oh, and he totally forgot he was a werewolf!

At least she'll never go saggy... because she's a vampire... that doesn't age... *cough*

(Don’t worry, these aren’t plot spoilers, it’s all in the first book / two episodes)

The plot is actually rather well done. Unlike numerous other vampire based anime with teenage appearanced vampires, such as Rosario + Vampire or Karin, Mina actually is into her third century and actually acts somewhat like it, with the exception of her crush on Akira… and let’s face it, we all know plenty of adults that do amazingly dumb things if they think they’re about to get it on with a teenager *cough*

Which is why the consistent “titillation” of the audience with a scantily clad twelve year old body just makes no sense. Cheap panty shots are generally the domain of an anime or manga series that stretching for time and appeal to cover up it’s near total lack of depth or character development.

At least this one is covered and not likely to get you arrested for reading this article

Whilst DitVB characters are somewhat archetypal, the plot line of vampires basically becoming the corner stone of a reviving economy and demanding economic and political concessions to secede from a sovereign nation and form their own (hence the “bund” in the title) are not. The political sub-plots are handled with sincerity and aplomb, easily quite mature in their content and the way that they are handled (assassinations, kidnappings, turnings, etc.) without resorting to cheap gimmickery. Likewise, the relationship management with other clans of monsters.

Sadly, the cheap gimmicks seem to be there to stay for the highschool romance story line. i.e. the must have learning to cook in home-eco class, LOL the vampire queen fails because vampires don’t eat food… Not only could that be seen coming a mile off, it was entirely unneccesary to the development of other plot lines which were far more engaging.

It’s almost as if the author, Tamaki Nozomu, wanted to write a serious vampire story for an adult audience, and was instructed by the publishers to ensure that there was content for teenagers as well to ensure it was a commercial success… which is doubly odd because it was initially published in a monthly magazine aimed at mature adult males. Actually, that’s probably why there’s so many of the lack-of-tit-illating shots.

Either way, it’s actually an engaging series, so queue it up, get some pizza, and prepare for a marathon screening session because this is a damn site better than any of the crap Stephanie Meyer churns out… I hear her next series is going to involve Angels… that sparkle.

For those of you that don’t want to wait for someone to license this title, but feel guilty about downloading content from Pirate Bay, there episodes are currently available for free on Funimation’s Dance in the Vampire Bund YouTube Channel.

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I know I normally try to post something about Cyberpunk stuff on a Thursday, but Steampunk is kinda Cybperunk… or at least an offshoot of the literary vein.
So here we go!

"It's a good thing we didn't paint this one in thermite!"

Turns out that large scale airships, of the kind we’re always fantasizing about, may actually become a commercial reality within the forseeable future! Or at least they may according to recent chatter surrounding statements by a former chief scientific adviser to the British government, David King.

Now, rigid structure airships for passengers and freight kind of stopped being popular in the later part of the first half of the twentieth century thanks to the Hindenburg killing a few dozen people and exploding in a giant fireball. Filling it with hydrogen, and painting it in a substance that’s known to burn rapidly at temperatures roughly 10% of our sun’s surface may have had something to do with that. Or the way that the US wasted millions of dollars (when that was actually a lot of money) on trying to make flying aircraft carriers like the USS Macon and then staffing it with officers that figured the gas ballast would be similar to that in a submarine.

Those kinds of things tend to put people off a little. Kind of like Chernobyl and Three Mile Island poisoning the well, excusing the pun, of research and development of nuclear power.

He might also be a Nazi. But probably not. Then again, that looks like German.

Recently, as part of the global effort against man made greenhouse gas emissions, King (who I really need to point out is a professor and a knight of the realm… no, seriously!) suggested that perhaps all air travel that is not time critical be shifted to massive airship transport. This has naturally met with a lot of skepticism at a number of quarters.

One quarter is from the people that (rightfully) point out airships travel at about 100-120km per hour. If a train can get somewhere faster, these are going to be useless for domestic freight and passenger transport, and most people don’t want to spend 3-4 days aboard an aircraft to go overseas. These are all valid points, but totally strawman the point that this is meant to replace air transport for cargo, not passengers.

However, there are a certain breed of passengers that will pay for this, quite happily I might add, especially if it includes shopping and other fun, duty free activities. Of the dozen or so articles I’ve looked into regarding this, not a single one has considered the benefits of this idea from a tourism perspective.

Air cruises!

And our modern airships will have more modern racism than those of the 1930s!

Airship tourism is growing fast… apparently. (Yeah, I really don’t believe that either…)

We'll all be going for trips in this! And yes, it WILL be made of LEGO!

Never mind that you’ve instantly got the Steampunks and Retrofuturists that will want to get on board. There will be several every day types that are sick with the ocean going kind of cruise, having been on many before, and will want to try something new. Instead of scuba-diving off the back of the boat, there’d be para sailing or gliding. Bunjee jumping off the back. Rigid wing gliding to the destination point as the airship comes in to land! Amazingly fun times had by all, and provided the proper care is taken, people are no more likely to die from misadventure than they already do on cruise ships. Not to mention that due to the altitude, people won’t need to consume as much alcohol to have those same misadventures!

It's almost as good as Jude Law!

But considering that people are already using submarines for criminal purposes such as piracy and drug smuggling, I get the feeling it won’t be long until we actually see airpirates raiding these pleasure ships of the sky, like fat flying buffallo. Buffallo covered in ticks that happen to be obnoxiously rich! And no one likes obnoxiously rich parasites! Why, the fat cats riding these blimps that are only slightly larger than their own blimp like arses positively deserve the air piracy that is about to befall them! Air piracy brought to them courtesy of Robert DeNiro in a dress!

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I was reading the newspaper again today. It’s a bad habit, I know, as there’s nothing more depressing than knowing what’s going on… well, other than maybe having to sit with a bunch of models going on about how fat they are at 5′11″ and 52kg, when you’re 6′0″ and getting close to three digits.

Why is her mortarboard white?

However, The Age newspaper posted an article on how university students are more likely to be depressed than other people “their age”.

Never mind the obvious fallacy that there’s some magical age for a university student, considering that many people in the second half of their lives are still going on to tertiary education. The obvious implication here is that they’re talking about undergraduates doing their first run. 18-25 year olds. Ok, that’s fair enough. But why are they more depressed and stressed out than other 18-25 year olds?

The obvious suggestion is that study is hard… Especially now that the student unionism no longer being compulsory means many campuses no longer give out free beer on a regular basis. And without all that beer, a lot of students simply aren’t getting the kilojoule intake required to keep functioning correctly! Seriously though, I highly doubt that. Even if it is somewhat less than a regular full time job, a university lifestyle does provide structure, eeps you occupied and keeps your brain nice and elastic while you find the time to make new positive social relationships and generally have fun. Exams and assignments may be stressful, but often less so than accidentally nailgunning a friends hand to a beam as an apprentice carpenter (although that does turn into a “You had to be there” anecdote later… I assume *cough*).

I’m going to go out on a limb here and hazard a guess by saying that the reason why university students, particular those cited in the article as being in the Medicien or Law faculties, are actually in that band of people of higher intellect than those that are not students. Numerous studies have shown correlations between higher intellectual capacity and rates of anxiety and depression. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence too. Even in Sweden! And how could anyone be depressed there?!

Oh, and let's not forget the obvious

Even before empirical method for research was a standard practice, this was basically a truism. Ernest Hemingway, who is noted as one of the finer writers of the modern era blew his brains out with a shotgun. Vincent Van Gogh shot himself too. Nikola Tesla died of heart failure that many believe to have been caused by a drug overdose. Alan Turing, one of the people instrumental to ensuring the freedom of the world we know and love today, scoffed down an LD of cyanide. Virginia Wolfe decided to go for a swim… with her coat on… with the pockets filled with rocks…

It goes on and on. Smart people off themselves all the time. Why is for another discussion entirely, although my personal theory on the subject is that smart people can actually see that a) things are not ok b) they’re frustrated by the fac tthey’er aware they’re powerless to stop it and c) they perceive everyone that is less intelligent than they are to be ok with the fucked up situtation that they find untenable… with the occasional d) consistently being mocked for not lowering themselves down to the average (this one is most consistently seen in primary & secondary school, but also in the workplace. Indeed, tertiary education is one of the few places this is rarely an issue). The point is that perhaps all of these university students are depressed and anxious simply because they actually know what the fuck is going on around them and wish it were different.

Is there a solution to their depression?

Ohhh... THAT'S why her mortarboard was white!

Fucking… For guys this is an obvious one, but it seems for women, exposure to semen makes you happier. That’s right ladies, being the proverbial cum dumpster is a road to happiness… No wonder all those prostitutes are so unhappy!

I’d say medication… Fukitol, or Brain Candy. Something that makes you feel good and numb and absolutely not caring about anything or their moral implications. Oh wait, that’s Prozac! Failing that, there’s always booze. After all, there does seem to be a noticeable correlation between the rates of university student depression and the lack of free alcohol on campus. Or maybe just not being covered in semen, like this guy.

But what the fuck would I know? I dropped out of uni and now rant to a crowd of mostly strangers on a Tuesday night about what me and a tentacle got up to on the weekend under the influence of inebriating substances as my therapy.

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I just had a look at the top 10 search terms that bring first time readers to this blog. I do this every once in a while to see what is actually of interest to my non-regular readers. Personally, I would have assumed it would have been things such as much awesome custom cocktails, or perhaps some of my articles on cyberpunk fiction that is already a clear and present reality (or imminently pending) and why that makes cyberpunk a genre that people are less inclined to read lately.

But no, it’s none of those things.

It’s mostly Jude Law’s dick.

The GothClub’s Top 10 Most Searched Terms for First Time Visitors!

These are literally in the order of popularity by the way, and except for the last two, each have over a thousand first time visitors that have found the site through these…Thanks Google! It’s nice to know what you think my site is all about and who it’s relevant to in the eyes of search engine users.

1. jude law
2. avatar navi
3. navi porn
4. fucked to death
5. navi avatar
6. world of whorecraft
7. avatar sex
8. poire william
9. avatar navi porn
10. falcon punch

Holy shit, folks! Whilst Jude Law’s technically on top for a post I made about our society becoming like the film Gattaca, the combined weight of all the ones about navis actually outweighs Jude’s swinging non-blue cock by nearly 3:1.

I make one parody post about the missing sex scene from Avatar and the actual social implications of getting into some alien bush instead of actually negotiating for mineral rights, and somehow this becomes the most important thing for you first timers! It actually kind of makes me totally unsurprised that World of Whorecraft is on there (even though it was a post about living our lives in virtual simulations), because you clearly can’t deal with real porno (so I’ve linked it permanently for you to make your lives easier), and you figure Falcon Punching a woman is the best way to deal with any potential unwanted complications that may arise from your inter-species erotic capers.

That a liquor made it on there at all genuinely surprises me…

*facepalm*

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