It’s around this time of the year that people are beginning to make plans for their NYE partying.

Me, I don’t plan to go to parties. I plan the parties themselves.

If anyone’s interested, I’m organising a masquerade / cosplay night entitled Solstone.

The theme is Artefacts & Enchantments, so the thinsg people are wearing alone should be interesting. I’m hoping with the provision of booze that what they’re no longer wearing later in the evening will be more so for many attendees.

I’m not going to give a full spiel about what it is here. You can go to the site for that. But I will say why I’m putting it on (with the funding of Manifest).

Last year, I went to Euchronia and I had a fucking awesome time… but then again, I’m pretty into that sort of scene, and that kind of music. I also remembered what it was like being a social malcontent that didn’t really fit in with any of the regular crowds, and having to go to house parties that actually really sucked for NYE, except that one year where I got to see Half Moon Bay actually entirely ablaze.

Euchronia’s not happening this year. So strike one for me. No plans. Sure, I could go to one of the clubs out there and listen to the same music I listen to month in, month out, with the same people, in the same clothes, drinking the same drinks… and it’ll just be more crowded and more expensive than my usual night out. That’s strike two.

Strike three would be deciding not to do anything and host a party at home… Been there, done that, had to clean up afterwards and hazily remembered that the lack of hair on my hands and arms was actually caused by me drunkenly setting myself on fire with Bacardi 151.

No strike three this year.

So I’m putting on the most awesome cosplay event ever to grace Australia. Nerd focused, as opposed to Goth, because it allows me to put on a wider variety of acts, have a wider variety of people, and play a wider variety of music (Dr. Steel, anyone?). I can also indulge my hobby of cocktailing by having a few sake and ramune based cocktails. When that stuff is glowing under the UV lights and freaky blue LEDs, you’ll be amazed that it doesn’t eat out your stomach lining and it manages to taste that good.

I hope you’ll think about joining me there.

P.S. Cosplayers are pretty much like goths. Just becaused they’re dressed in stuff that’d make a stripper blush doesn’t mean they’re actually into you, or anything you’re into… Except perhaps the particular thing they’re dressed as. Whilst this may be a chance for you to live out your Final Fantasy X, do consider some restraint.

Today, let’s get right to the heart of the matter. The Brain.

I think at one time or another, everyone has wanted some form of psychic power, be it telepathy and the ability to read/see/hear other people’s thoughts, to some form of -kinesis: movement via the power of the mind, at varying levels.

As we’re not X-men like mutants, or residents in the city of Rapture, such powers  will never be ours thanks to universal laws such as the conservation of energy. You can blame James Prescott Joule for this. Also for making you fat.
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So, as it turns out, Godhood is a giant franchise… At least it is, if you’re a Mormon.

This is beyond the pale… And the bit about how got created black people as “negroes” is pretty fucked up. I guess this explains why there aren’t any black Mormons. Although if there are, they’d have to be stupider than the regular Mormons for falling for this shit. Then again, they do have polygamy and telemarketing as their two biggest draw cards.

Still, seems like this particular religion is something for those that could be out thought by a jellyfish.

Now don’t get me wrong here. I’m not an atheist.

I just find it hard to believe in a god that that is omnipotent, merciful and just if said god “works in mysterious ways”, allows people to suffer, sends you to hell for not believing in its endless love, and actually has any kind of reasonable competition (kinda blows the omnipotency out of the water there).

I believe that such a god maybe existed once, but they abandoned humanity long ago after seeing what a fuck up we made of it.

I know I would.

We’ve already covered cyborgs and robots in our previous discussions, but it seems a lot of people simply aren’t comfortable with the idea of replacing parts of themselves, or entire humans, in order to get laborious jobs done. Frankly, I think you’re screaming wussies, but that could just be me.

So if you’re not prepared to be replaced by robotic labour, and you’re not content with hacking off one of your own arms to get a cybernetic upgrade, what are you going to do?

The answer lies in augmented exo-suits.

The suit most people are probably familiar with is the classic heavy load power lifter that Ripley hops into in Aliens. Cyberpunk fiction, and robot filled anime in particular, is choc full of them. Works of Masamune Shirow, such as Appleseed, come to mind.

These sorts of heavy labour and, dare I say it, combat suits are actually not very far from becoming a very practical reality.

There are two major firms involved in this race:

1) The American based Sarcos, manufacturers of the XOS (pronounced “Eck-soss” as in Exoskeleton) suit, which is being billed as the real life Iron Man. Together with a nice fat grant from DARPA, this is assuredly going to end up being for military applications after they’ve made it larger, more armoured, and with tactical mount points… oh yeah, and figured out a way to give it more than 30 minutes of operational effectiveness if the battery isn’t breached.

2)  The Japanese based (I shit you not) Cyberdine Corporation. No, they really did give themselves the same name as the company that brought about Skynet in the Terminator series. To make matters worse, their suit is called HAL 5. Add some AI into it, and we’re amazingly fucked.

Interestingly enough, the HAL suit has been in development for less time, has been designed for more medical and restorative means than the XOS, but is ready to go into commercial production next year. Perhaps more interestingly is that it looks better and currently provides better armour and battery life than the American product, which could probably use a bullet proof corset underneath it. Whether this has something to do with the Japanese insistence that form be a part of function, or they’re just trying to make sure that it looks like a friendly piece of techno-oriented fashion, as opposed to some sociopathic death bot, who knows.

Fact of the matter is that both of these are going to revolutionise the building industry. No longer will fat, lazy brickies be able to say that they can’t possibly lift those four bricks. No longer will carpenters claim that they haev bad knees or backs and can’t kneel down to fire off nail guns into the boards. Strain injuries will be a thing of the past.

Instead, the new claims will be getting too much tomato sauce into the joints, and that the missus forgot to plug the suit in overnight.

So, let’s get on to the questions that no one else is asking:

1. Will young punks figure out a way to make this a cool form of transportation that senior citizens demand be removed from their lawn?
2. Will people start playing sports in these? And if so, how far away will a 3 point shot have to be when there’s an ability to lift and shift 400kg?
3. How are hoons going to start hot rodding their exo suits?
4. 

   Couldn't resist

   What kind of response can we expect from law enforcement agencies when these start getting used in crimes? Is it ok to assume that these are deadly weapons, like steel capped boots, and therefore shoot someone in the face? And can you use explosive ordinance if their exosuit has a faceplate?

5. Will they bother making models aimed specifically at women, like the Holden Barina? If so, will they have breasts on the chest plates, or armour pleated plated skirts?

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