See, I use this as therapy. I’m not actually up here trying to get you guys to laugh, so much as get some shit off my chest. Laughter is a bonus. But let’s see if we can get a bonus round going.
In the meantime sit back, take a stiff shot and here we fucking go.

Regulars here know I’m jewish.
Ooooh, jewish blogger. Big fucking surprise. A jewish blogger that loves to have his lunatic rants and that’s unemployed.
Jewish blogger that’s unemployed and neurotic?!!? How many stereotypes can I be?
Does comedy? I do.
Failed at acting? Certainly.
Drinking? Check!
Smoking? For sure!
Self destructive arsehole? Why not.
Good with math? I’ll do your fucking taxes so long as you pay me.

Yeah, angry. Very fucking angry.
See, I’m not a terribly good jew. In fact, I’m something of an anti-semite.
If I was any other racial group, it’d just be me poking shit… But if you’re a jew and you make jokes about jews, you’re a self-hating anti-semite.
I never got that shit, actually. I don’t hate myself at all. I just hate every other fucking jew I end up meeting.
If you hate yourself, you commit suicide… or start watching daytime TV.

I love myself. I jerk off every damn chance I get and I’ll wax my own arsehole.
Anyone here ever considered waxing someone’s arsehole when they don’t like them?

Fuck no! You only do that shit for someone you intend to stick your dick or your tongue into, and if I could I would, but I can’t so I have to settle for the fucking wax job and maybe the odd fist.

And that’s how I know there is no god!
That’s what finally made it click for me.
All the wars? God has his people.
All the poverty and misery? God works in mysterious ways.
Evil and cruel people getting ahead at life at the expense of the Just and the Good? God is testing your faith.

Anal hair?

Clearly we are random by products of an uncaring process of evolution, because I hate to think we’re created in god’s own image and still have hairs growing out of our arses!

In this scenario, the alternative, that god does indeed exist, is actually even worse. It goes to show that god is clearly either insane, uncaring, or the most callously evil being to exist… And not just because your assfro has no practical purpose other than to ensure you can’t pass on your seed. Look at this Cistine Chapel shit painted by Michaelangelo. Does god have enough hair to make plugs with when he starts going bald? Hell no. Smooth as the day he was born of himself to a virgin so he could sacrifice himself to himself in order to save you all from the original sin which he actually kinda made you do in the first place. And I thought my mother was good at convoluted psychology to make me feel guilty.

Or maybe that anal hair is just there to catch the fish.

What the fuck do I know, it’s nearly 2am and I have shit to do tomorrow.

Cyberpunk is one of those genres that is clearly defined by it’s elements. It’s always got some form of post humanism, some form of technology corrupting society, some form of secret cabal that controls the rest of the world, some form of societal degradation, and always, always there has been a massive shift in the economy to either total collapse, or brink of collapse with everything controlled by the aforementioned secret cabal.

I know that most of these posts on cybperunk have been concentrating on technology that already exists, and me calling out the scoffers who claim bullshit on the tech. Well, what about the societal concepts as well? Having been paying attention to the crap that’s going down both here and abroad lately, it’s beginning to make me seriously think that perhaps Ben Elton, William Gibson and Masamune Shirow were onto something. (more…)

For a start, if you don’t get through this, I really don’t blame you.

Anyway, going through the fantastic suggestions that YouTube throws up (a fitting metaphor here) when you watch video after video, I found this delightful bit of animated Indonesian Mythology.

Considering that Indonesia is now almost entirely Hindu, Muslim, Christian or Buddhist, with atheists and those of other religions making up less than 2% of the remaining population, and I’ve already picked on everyone in these groups except for Hindus (seriously, you try to find fucked up cartoons about Hinduism! It’s not easy!), I figured I’d try to go for the pre-religious imperialism mythology of the nation.

Enjoy! (he said through clenched teeth)

Wow, even Buddhists are fucked up!

Actually, in a way, I think that stands to reason. For a start, almost all of those statuettes that people think are meant to be Buddha… Here’s a fat happy guy with the huge droopy ears. Ok, I dig, he’s found inner happiness by giving up worldly desires. So how’d he get so rotund? Looks like someone still desires sugary treats, if you know what I’m saying.

But I digress… you just want your Sabbath morning cartoons, and I totally understand that. It’s just that this week’s is a Buddhist one… kinda. It’s called Birth, although in the early 90s was released by Harmony Gold as Planet Busters or World of the Talisman, depending which market you were in. It also had a dub that made it entirely suitable for kids, which was kind of not the point.

In the early 00s, ADV re-released it with a different dub, with some of the very fucked up original Japanese dialogue (including the rant by the now homosexual emo teen terracidal robot), but dropped a lot of the religious references… Go figure.

Either way, the clip you’re seeing here is the very last few moments, which are actually radically different from the rest of this pointless, yet entertaining romp, through many of the central tenants of Buddhism… with sexy arses an giant robots that shoot lasers from their face.

Hey, if you think this is disrespectful or something, you should see Legend of the Overfiend… also based on the central tenants of Buddhism… somehow…

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