Sometimes you sit back and watch a horror movie because it’s better than the complete lack of plans you made for the weekend.

Horror movies come in two over-arching types: Really god woefully bad and you wish you could pluck your own eyes out while speaking Latin like that dude in Scene 18 or are a part of the Gingerdead Man franchise, or the actually good ones that have a decent budget and genuinely prey on your mind after leaving the cinema (and are usually ripped off of Asian movies).

The thing about the good horror movies is that even though you know they simply cannot happen,they continue to prey on your mind afterward. “What if my world isn’t the real one…” and “There’s stuff out there I don’t understand…” It’s why poorly shot movies about axe wielding psychopathic bums dressed as Santa Claus don’t particularly scare us. Things that could actually happen are kind of tacky.

But sometimes that shit actually does happen…

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Remember how the entirety of Saturday morning’s TV broadcast was basically brought to you by the Mars/Funtastic Transforming Chocobot hour?

No?

Well, neither do I really, but I do remember there being amazingly cool toys… ok, just toys that I was told were cool, and the effective subtext being that I would be a massive social pariah if I didn’t annoy the fuck out of my parents until they caved in and purchased a whole bunch of cheaply made-in-Taiwan shit for me.

My parents actually knew how to say no to a screaming, crying child, and here I am today! (more…)

There are two things in life we can rely on: Death and the Japanese taking any technology available and figuring out how a penis can be associated with it. Did I mention I ♥ Japan?

Either way, you may not have heard of Teledildonics before. It was a field that was big in the early 90s, when VR and the internet were reaching the height of their hype cycles, with people saying that technology that is still a few years away now were going to be available in about 32 minutes time. Basically, teledildonics combines haptic feedback mechanisms and controllers with telecommunication technology, allowing you to fuck someone at a distance and not have to worry about STDs or anything (unless you’re using it at an internet cafe or something).

It all makes the long distance Hug Shirt seem so very 20th century.

P.S. The rest of this post is probably NSFW

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The readers that know me on Facebook are aware that a few weeks ago, I had to have my dog put down. Two days before Christmas to be precise. So, y’know, best Christmas ever! In hindsight, what I found most interesting about the whole affair is thing is the way that other people, when confronted with that sort of thing in their averagely happy daily lives, a) just don’t know how to deal with it; and b) really show how well they don’t know you.

I’m going to try to keep this away from being all about me. There’s LiveJournal for that bullshit. But there is some context that needs to be explained, because otherwise this seems like an angry, bitter rant… which I guess it kind of is, even if it isn’t intended to be.

Allow me to explain. That’s my dog, Particle Accelerator (Or Accel for short), there in the video… (more…)

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